Self-confidence is an infectious quality that automatically makes any person that much more attractive. Whether it is a job interview, an inquiry for a raise, or a date confidence will surely do everything but hurt you.
Yet, what are some practical steps to developing confidence?
Do you have to just be born with confidence, or can it be developed?
I believe it can be cultivated and here are some practical steps to developing confidence.
1. DON’T COMPARE, BUT APPRECIATE.
The way we interact with the world within us affects the way we interact with the world around us; that is, our emotions, our desires, our fears and goals. In other words, how you feel about yourself is communicated to others consciously and unconsciously.
This is important to know because when you compare yourself to others it will develop this inner critic voice. A voice within that believes you are not good enough only to find “so called” truth in comparing yourself chronically to others.
In dating, the conversation within will become external.
The lack of self confidence will be picked up on. Some people may not even reject you, but they may steer clear of signs of insecurity.
Instead of comparing yourself to others try appreciating the skills of others. Ultimately, appreciate your own set of gifts and talents and focus on your “unique” qualities.
2. DON’T WEAR A MASK, BUT BE YOURSELF.
A lack of self-confidence, or the trust in ones own ability, can cause some to be a different person in public! Putting on a mask will only increase feelings of loneliness, and this fleeting feeling that no one “gets you”.
But in order for people to “get you” then you have to be you so they can love this person.
In dating, confidence is important but so is being who you truly are at your core.
3. DON’T BE SO UPTIGHT, BUT LEARN HOW TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF!
When I was younger, a bully (yes, I was bullied!) once told that me that if I don’t learn how to laugh at myself, then the entire world will laugh at me for me.
I believe Carl Jung once said that what you resist will persist.
Look at your insecurities in the eyes and laugh in their face. It will help you to be less critical when one of them floats to the surface.
4. DON’T BE A LONER, BUT FIND LIKE MINDED PEOPLE.
Be part of a group of some organization, again, where you can fully be yourself.
If you are part of a group of friends or even have family members who influence you to feel like you are worthless, then it is time for you to find another group of folks to hang out with. (Of course, if possible, if someone is being not so nice, then try to communicate your emotions by the way)
Write down five things you really like to do and find others who like to do those things, that simple. Try meetup.com!
5. DON’T LIVE IN THE PAST OR THE FUTURE, BUT THRIVE IN THE NOW.
Maybe you had some very embarrassing episodes as a child, or even had a horrible dating experience; the fact of the matter is that self-confidence is in the now.
Looking to the past will generate regret and looking to the future with no hope will generate fear. Living in this moment and being secure in who are is key.
Self-confidence is the fruit of positive focus, while also accepting the not so good things about yourself. Give it a try and see how your dating life shifts big time.
Well, that’s all folks. Go out there, be confident and fake it till you make it. 🙂
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To visit my website click here, in the meantime have a great day.
-Coach London Holt
Conscious Relationship Advice for Singles and Dating 