Dating Tip Consciousness Code #1…How to Keep a Conversation Going Without Looking Awkward

Congratulations! S/he finally said yes and you have a date, or perhaps you are already in a relationship and are just headed to a favorite restaurant.

Either way, you may eventually come to the dreaded “awkward silence” where the sound of crickets are akin to the noise of a heavy metal rock group.

We have all been there. 😦

Have no fear, a Relationship Coach is here! Here are a few tips on how to overcome this seemingly inevitable situation.

Codes of Consciousness advice bit one1– Realize that silence is not a bad thing. In fact, I would say embrace it. Silences isn’t harmful , but how one relates to and perceives silence can amplify awkwardness.

Next time take a deep breath and make sure you are breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth, and be aware of your body. Make sure you are in the moment, because you can’t have a good conversation while daydreaming!

Always remember to listen, and be able to repeat back to the person what they have said. Another quick tip, don’t be so focused on what you are going to say next, focus on their words so you can repeat and paraphrase and then bring to the table your creative swagger.

Consciousness Codes advice bit two2-A good conversation is like playing catch, someone throws the ball then you have to toss it back. Keep in mind also that we are multidimensional beings and we have a physical body, an emotional body, mental body and for those who believe a spiritual body.

The key to good conversation is to appeal to all levels of someone’s existence.

If you only have physical conversations then you will only have a physical connection and a physical relationship…which dies out pretty fast.

Sorry perverts. 😉

Consciousness Code advice bit three3-Set an intention before the date or outing.

Do you want to know more about the persons family background? Do you want to find out who their favorite music group is? Do you want to go out on another date? (Save that one for the end obviously)

Keep note of what the person says and be able to paraphrase for them their words, and if you have something in common then say so. This commonality will make you appear more likeable, and they will know for a fact that you are listening.

Consciousness Code advice bit four4-Just be yourself, please! Be yourself and discuss topics that you resonate with. If the person is attracted to your core-ness then you will build a relationship where you feel so comfortable around the person, that conversation will flow effortlessly.

If you are focused on being something you are not, you will not only attract a pretty unhappy relationship; but your facade will eventually fade away, and when the mist clears you will more than likely part ways. Trust me on this one, I have seen it several times.

Okay, well that is it all for today-please comment as I appreciate all feedback. Unconditional Love be with you all!

To get access to a free interactive E-Book click here.

To visit my website click here, in the meantime have a great day.

-London Holt

Is Being a Needy Person a Bad Thing? 5 Reasons Why Needy People May Be Showing Up In Your Dating Life!

When it comes to dating and relationships there are certain character traits that may turn some off instantly. One of those traits is someone who is very needy. I mean overwhelmingly needy. So needy that when you are in the same room they want to make sure you both are sharing the same bubble of oxygen…Okay, so maybe  I am exaggerating a tad bit but you get the picture. I wanted to give, however, a blog post on what and why you may have ended up with a super needy person. The answers will surely surprise you!

1. Are You Shopping While Desperate?

Imagine heading to the grocery store while you are starving, or to your favorite clothing store with a lot of money in your pocket.

Chances are, you will buy everything!

Unfortunately, in dating what I analyze is that some date from a place of desperation and loneliness. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing but it can set you up for overlooking a person being very needy and controlling (such as the person who needs you to always text back instantly, yes we have all been there) Social Psychologist call the phenomenon of minimizing the not so good things about a person the Halo Effect by the way for my scholars out there. Anyways, if you always find yourself in a situation with needy people, you may find that you have allowed this into your life by not paying attention to red alert signs!

2. One Word. Boundaries.

I remember back in high school dating this girl, and we were inseparable. In fact, whenever my name was mentioned her’s always followed. Point made, we were “one”.

I bring this up because it seems that many fantasize about being so strongly connected to another person that it feels like you both share the same heart beat. However, this desire if not controlled can cause you to end up with someone very needy, that is, you can misinterpret a red signal as something amazing. An example would be of someone who has the desire to be needed, so when they meet a guy or gal who is jealous and controlling the behavior may be interpreted, again, as a good thing.

Sometimes that which attracts us to be people can paradoxically be the thing that tears a relationship apart.

This means that in relationships,  in dating especially, you want to set clear boundaries and tell the person how certain actions cause you to feel, and be aware of any mixed signals you are sending.

3. You May Be Needy Yourself!

Let’s face it, sitting on the couch watching episodes of Family Guy, and re-runs of your other favorite shows all by your lonesome is perhaps not as fun as cuddling with someone who makes hilarious narrations and random fart noises (wait, is that just me?)

At one point in life, we all are needy. As babies we start off not being able to care for ourselves, so our parents must supply our needs. It is part of our human nature to have needs that need to be fulfilled, and even American Psychologist Abraham Maslow spent a portion of his life researching this.

Needy people may be showing up because they resonate with your suppressed or unconscious neediness. I know, very difficult to hear but you would be surprised to learn that a great deal of the things we dislike in others are only mere reflections of that which we don’t like, or have suppressed, within ourselves. What does that mean? I will discuss this in a future blog, but for now just know that you may have a lot more in common with a needy person than you thought.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself!

4. Do You Both Want the Same Thing?

I know this is a cliche sort of thing to say, but relationships truly do thrive on honest communication and mutual understanding. Thus, you both may want to discuss whether or not you want the same type of relationship.

Yes, there are different types!

Some want a close and deeply intimate relationship, some just want someone to share experiences with, some people just want the benefits of a serious relationship without commitment.

What you want to do is make sure you know what you want, and find someone who wants the same thing. Define your core desires. You would be surprised at how easy this little tip can help. After all, honesty is the best policy. 🙂

5. Are You Sure You are Ready for a Serious Relationship?

The human heart is a battlefield, as several desires fight for the right to come to the forefront of the soul. Different pieces of you want the lime light.

Part of you wants to be independent, yet the other wants the beauty of interdependence. If you are not in full alignment with sharing your time with another person, then be honest and try to develop a way of working through this together. Deal with the issue as teammates so you both aren’t fighting each other, but together.

Okay, that sums of my mini list for the time being, and trust me I know there are many more reasons why needy people show up, but the ones I listed seem to be the most common I see, especially while Coaching Singles and Dating.

Just remember there is always a solution if you are willing to look for it.

Lastly, there is nothing wrong with being needy, one must simply find a way to have their desires fulfilled in a healthy manner. And someone replying to your texts instantly may not be the answer. Just sayin’!

 To get access to a free interactive E-Book click here.

To visit my website click here.

Thank you for your time and have a nice day!