Why do relationships fall apart?
Why do some stay together and others drift away, like a boat at sea with no anchor?
There are many different reasons why relationships don’t work out; perhaps poor communication, long distance, infidelity, or even jealousy.
However, I have identified one of the main reason most relationships actually end.
One word.
Desire!
I know, the word may paint pictures of romance or some fragrance by the name, but that’s not what I mean, of course.
You see, there are actually different types of desires, or a strong wanting for something.
There are physical desires, there are mental desires and even emotional and spiritual desires. For example, let’s say your significant other communicates that they want to spend more time with you-then this would be a physical desire.
How you respond to this desire is very important, because if you should fail to meet this desire then it can spark an argument or some level of festering resentment.
“You never spend anytime with me anymore, I don’t even know why I am in this relationship!”
“I do spend time with you, in fact we spend TOO much time together I just need space!”….
Okay, so look at what’s going on here. One person is showing a desire for closeness and the other a desire for distance-two different desires in one room! Oh my, is this a recipe for disaster or what?
What is the solution?
Create a safe place and connect to your partner, thus giving you a place to comfortably communicate your deeper feelings and desires. This is even important for those dating as well, you must know your desires BEFORE going into a relationship to see if they are compatible and/or complimentary to another person’s desires.
Connect, communicate and then show appreciation for your partner opening up so that they will be more likely to open up to you and not some random person at a coffee shop 🙂
So why do I compare relationships to boats and wind? Am I trying too hard to be poetic? Maybe, but here goes a more vivid picture.
Your relationship with someone is a like a boat that you want to keep afloat and safe from anything that may sink it. That which you desire is like the wind, and when you both desire similar things and appreciate each others desires the boat is in sync with nature.
Yet, when your partner does not feel like a desire is being met, then a storm awakens and it will shake the boat until the desire is met! If the person is not satisfied, then they will leave, go elsewhere to have the desire fulfilled (cheat) or they will just become very numb and remain miserable. I know, that’s pretty sad.
So do you get it now? Desires are very important and may not seem like a necessity but are in fact one of the core fundamentals to the happiness factor in a relationship.
Mental desires may be learning a new language, emotional desires may be a longing for safe vulnerability and a spiritual desire may be a longing to go to church or a temple. Listen to your partners desires and see if you guys can come to a common agreement, that is, compromise.
If not, then your boat hits a massive ice-berg and things fall apart 🙂
Be on the lookout for more blog posts!
Peace and Love be with you all.
To get access to a free interactive E-Book click here.
To visit my website click here, in the meantime have a great day.
-Coach London
Conscious Relationship Advice for Singles and Dating 