Did you know your personal culture actually affects your dating life, and later, your long-term relationships?
A man by the name of Edward B. Tylor defined culture as the full range of learned human behavior patterns.
In other words, culture is learned and not a biological phenomenon, as Tylor also believed there was no difference between a King and the servant, but only that the King may have been educated more; thus, the King is able to yield more of that which was always within him.
But again, how does this connect to your dating life?
Well, I believe that there is a collective culture, yet also an individual culture which consists of experiences, values, desires and a perceived identity.
Who you believe yourself to be will inevitably affect your dating life.
For example, if someone were to only identify themselves as a “poor person” then they may tend to date those in a similar socioeconomic status.
Yet, someone who’s identity is much more inclusive, expansive and even egalitarian may just label themselves as a human, and others as human. Thus, this latter identity will yield a greater dating pool, or number of possible partners from which to choose.
Your culture is what you cultivate. To cultivate means you focus on it to a certain degree consciously or unconsciously, and if you are not focusing enough on it than others from a similar culture will try to get you to focus on it.
Your culture is like a seed, a plant that you water with your thoughts and emotions, giving rise to fruits of symbols and behaviors.
Your culture can also be the collection of conversations you are having with yourself on a daily basis.
How do you view yourself? Who do you say you are? What things are very important to you?
Some people may actually have a personal culture of hate, that is, they focus on what it is they don’t like about themselves and this will generate insecurities, watering the seeds and bearing fruits of malice. Even while doing Relationship Coaching I find that I usually have to help clients overcome their own personal insecurities to make the dating process easier, after all the worst enemy is truly the person in the mirror!
Developing a Culture of Unconditional Love is very important and the way one does this is by accepting all of your desires and values as is. If you are always comparing yourself to other people, then this will surely create an array of insecurities.
When it comes to dating, having an idea of who you are and what you want are very important and I analyze even underestimated. Finding a partner with a similar “culture” is very important, and accepting yourself and others for who they are is very key as well.
However, very quickly I wanted to make a statement that may surprise you and perhaps even offend some, but this must be said.
Culture and race are not the same thing.
These two words shouldn’t be used interchangeably.
You see, race is a philosophy that is passed as being science (it still has yet to be proven in a lab) whereas culture is real, and is a function of what people focus on and value, and then pass on to the next generation (also known as socialization).
If anything, the illusion of race has become a focus in American Culture, thus in this case race is a cultural focus that many still have trouble letting go of, for an unconscious fear of loosing an elusive sense of identity.
Race is an illusion(click link to see for yourself), and biological determinism, I believe, will begin to erode in these next generations as even the number of multicultural dating and romantic relationships has and will continue to increase drastically. That is because again two people may come from different ethnic backgrounds, yet have a similar “personal” culture of focus on similar values.
The power of love is beyond all illusions of humanity.
So, again, to answer the question-culture affects your dating life because it affects who you would want to date and who you will ultimately decide who is a fit mate. And this is only the beginning!
Thank you all, and please leave comments-but please, no bloody debates on my page-if you have a quarrel with someone in this matter then please inbox one another, or keep the comments to a mutually respectful tone.
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Peace and Unconditional Love be with everyone,
-London Holt
Conscious Relationship Advice for Singles and Dating 