How Many People Actually Believe In Horoscopes?

Do you have that friend who always feels the need to relate everything to their horoscope sign? Or make comments like, “Wow, I really dislike (fill in random horoscope sign) so much!”

Or perhaps you have a secret desire to know yours, but are afraid of what your friends may say-hey it’s okay, insecurity and taboo controls most of our lives. 😉

But now is the time to courageously cure some fear of curiosity!

I’m bringing mad facts, numbers and intellectual prowess that’s gonna blow your mind! Let’s go!

What is a Horoscope? 

Okay, so I think before I drop them facts, although you could easily google it like right now, I wanted to give a more crisp definition of what a horoscope actually is.

Depending on your spiritual beliefs, that is-do we choose to come to earth or are we thrown down here by God as if he is playing dice-then your opinions will vary.

I personally believe that we are sentient, spiritual beings having a physical experience, and that we incarnate at will, but let’s save the semantics and philosophical musings for another post.

Basically, your horoscope is based partly on the location of the planets, stars and other astral bodies upon your birth. Think of it as an eternal song that is playing and when you are born the section of the song that is going kinda sticks to you. Hope that makes sense.

So when I was born the song “Virgo, Metal Sheep and Retrograde” were all playing-and many more.

But the big question for many is, “How can two people who have the same sign have completely different personalities?

This is something I will discuss more in a future post but know that there are more forms of Astrology-Americans tend to only look into one form when there are several (Numerology, Vedic Astrology, Chinese Zodiac etc)

It kinda sucks in my opinion that the baby is thrown out with the bathwater before people do deeper research-on themselves! Some may say astrology is not scientific, but who knows you better-you or a person in a lab coat?

Anywho, let’s reveal my research, and by research I mean what I Googled 8 minutes ago haha.

So what are the numbers? 

Okay, so for those of you who didn’t go ahead and Google
it yourself-thank you for your beautiful attention span-here is your treat. According to this article, over 30% of Americans believe horoscopes are real-yet a more recent article shows that only 55% of Americans consider Astrology “unscientific” or rubbish. This was a decrease from 62%. Which would mean that over 40% are believers! 

Keep in mind these studies were done in 2007 and 2012 respectively. 

Point blank, the numbers have been increasing, which means roughly over 90 million Americans believe in the validity of horoscopes, not to mention the staggering numbers elsewhere-and the fact that these people are of different belief systems is interesting. Maybe Astrology can bring people together, yeah?

On the contrary however, I am not saying, “Hey, a lot of other people believe so you should as well! Jump on the Astrological Bandwagon!” I am just saying that for those like me who are intuitively open to this information, don’t be ashamed-own your personal truth and literally research “yourself”.

So booyah!

I am sure that many may consider this information out of date or innacurate, but again just try it out. What’s the worst that can happen, you learn more about yourself?

Alright well there you have it, some simple numbers to consider, but now the question is for you personally-do you believe astrology is accurate? Have you looked into you natal chart, chinese sign, full numerology chart, etc?

My specialty is that I use many forms of astrology to help people find an ideal partner match, stuff works by the way but hey that’s why I wanted to do this post-to get people more open-I would love feedback!

To get access to a free interactive E-Book click here.

To visit my website click here, in the meantime have a great day.

 

Comment below!

-London Holt

How Healing Your Inner Child Attracts Soul-Mates

(Disclaimer: This is a pretty emotional and deep post-you may see something that will bring up suppressed emotions not yet dealt with-proceed with caution. And by the way, I made it as light as I could 😀 hehe ) 

Children are beautiful. Children are unique. Children are free-spirited geniuses.

Children don’t ask to be born but only cherished, appreciated, and accepted unconditionally as they are.

But what happens when a child is not accepted as they are? How does your inner-child connect to attracting soul-mates? Do you really sit around thinking about stuff like this?

Probably not.

Yet, I wanted to explore this topic since soul-mate hood evidently is kinda my thing.

And not to mention, healing your inner-child does attract soul-mates. Let’s delve deep into an ocean called deepness inner-child stuff-ness…okay yeah you know what I mean-hopefully. (Do I even know what I’m talking about?)

What is an Inner-Child?

Perhaps when you hear the word inner child you think of a little midget sized kid who lives in your head, giving you spontaneous urges to watch Disney movies, and beg your parents for the new toy that’s being displayed in some infomercial. But I am sorry, you are horribly wrong.

The inner-child, according to a guy named John Bradshaw, is the sum of our childhood emotions and memories stored unconsciously. Point blank, it is the “little you” stored away that in some way seeks healing.

Sadly enough, as we grow older this inner-child can be suppressed and not properly “nourished”, in a sense.

We starve the inner child when we invalidate our emotions, we hurt the inner-child when we no longer do what brings us personal excitement, we abuse the inner-child when we think being “grown” means a life of pain and suffering-and that this is just the way it is and will always be. 😦 (Why ya gotta be so ruuude?)

The inner child is an abstract concept, but in layman’s terms- the inner child is the collection of your deeper childlike needs that when gone unmet, will end in elaborate and ego-based ways of getting these needs met.

Like the person who really wants a pat on the back, but instead they go out of their way to work hard and get a Masters Degree-just to feel important and get a pat on the back. The core need was a need for recognition and affirmation.

Or consider a person who is having an argument with their significant other and they say something very mean to damage the persons self worth-the core need here would be having someone be dependent on your love and affection so you feel wanted. (Sorry if I exposed anyone here!)

The inner child is a tricky little kid who will destroy everything in your life just to ironically feel loved.

How do you heal the inner child?

I will give you some simple exercises you can do to heal the inner child because I truly believe that when your inner child is not healed, then you will sabotage a loving relationship when it shows up-and it will be so much more difficult to manifest a soul-mate/ideal mate. Again, if any of these exercises causes intense emotional discomfort then stop and come back to it later. Let’s go!

1. Get in touch with your inner child by making a list of things you really enjoyed doing as a child. If need be ask your care takers what you did most as a child. Did you play an instrument? Did you run around a field of grass? (Could convert to jogging by the way) Or perhaps you were a little Picasso at finger painting. Find these thing and make time to do it again, and while you are doing them, check in on your feelings. Is there a part of you that feels this is ridiculous? This could be your inner-critic invalidating the experience-tell that sucker to shut it 😛

2. Imagine, throughout your day, how you would interact with a small child. Would you tell a two year old child that they are stupid? Would you tell a four year old that he/she would never be successful in life? Would you feed a child until they became obese? Treat yourself and speak to yourself the way you would a small child-this is a sure fire way to nourish the inner child. Getting into this habit of “mindfulness” will help you be aware of how you are treating yourself and repeating horrible patterns.

3. Letting go of painful experiences and shifting your story around the pain. Easier said than done…but it can be done. Let’s say you were bullied as a kid or perhaps your parents were so busy working that they weren’t always around to be actual “parents” What inner-story do you have around this? Do you consider yourself unworthy of love?How does this play out in your current relationships? Being able to identify and be honest with the pattern is half the battle of healing.

4. Ask new “positive” questions! Now try shifting the story-say things like-Why do so many people currently accept me for who I am? Why do I have so many good friends in my life now? What can I do now to nourish my inner-child? When you ask new questions, the world will give you new answers and your inner-child will appreciate this deeply. Ask at least one of these a day-I do like 20 of them by the way-hence my perpetual smile 🙂

5. Finally, get out and have fun! Realize that cars run off of gas-and the inner-child thrives off of fun in all its forms. I know I said it before but fun is the magical, underestimated medicine for the soul.

There are many other ways of healing but I am not interested in writing a dissertation, you know what I mean? Use google search, you’ll be alright 😉

Just realize that this helps attract soul-mates because you are making your energy field brighter and lighter-and as you increase the light in your soul-it will shine forward and attract others who are practicing self-love as well. Simple as that.

Alright so this was a pretty heavy post but kudos to the brave who read through! I wish you well in your journey, comment below, share and also check more posts.

To get access to a free interactive E-Book click here.

To visit my website click here.

Well, pure love be with you all! Namaste!

-London Holt

 

How Authenticity Attracts Soul-Mates 101

“Another post about being yourself London? How many times are you gonna say it? Everyone knows this already!”

Or do they?! 🙂

Okay, so in lieu of me having finished the final chapter of the book I had been working on titled How to Align With Your Soulmate: Why Authenticity Is The Catalyst In Your Love Life!- I honestly felt the need to do more post like these. Especially considering that it has been almost a year since my last post.

And, in addition to that I have learned so much more about soulmate-hood.

Don’t underestimate the power of authenticity for even a moment, or something bad will happen to you!

Yeah, though so…

In reality, my views are much more metaphysically and “controversial” as some have told me, but if I am gonna tell others to be authentically themselves-then I gotta practice what I preach right? Of course I do, or I will slip on a banana peel. And that stuff hurts yo 😦

How do you define authentic dating, and what benefit is it to me? 

If the above question has not popped into your head then you should be asking why authentic dating is different then from, say, a random blind date with your sibling’s cute friend. (Wait, is that just me?) Anywho, Authentic Dating is dating from a place of pure resonance and knowing what you want, while being brave enough to not only be yourself but going after what you truly desire, even in the face of “failure”-(Tempted to go on a rant right now, but this will be a future post.)

But what is the benefit? You attract very quality partners!!! I know from experience and testimony!

But of course there is much more to just “being yourself” and running around asking people out to wine and dine all willy-nilly. Thus I, and many others, wrote a book about it.

Do you see how much I love this dreadful world that slips up? lol (Just go with it!)

So where do you start? 

You start right now, at your laptop-iPad-grandma’s computer or wherever you are.

Authenticity is in the now.

More practically, just ask yourself-how can I be more of myself today? You see, being an authentic dater is something that helps you win out in the long run. Instead of kissing 20 sumthin’ frogs you go out with 5 Charmings or Cinderellas and choose from the cream of the crop.

And, when someone senses this they will respect it deeply. Don’t fall for the trap of selling yourself, as I’ve discussed before.

On the contrary however, I don’t think the real question is about starting, but why one has yet to start.

What are you so afraid of?

The fear of authenticity- if it were a disease, then our society would be an epidemic on a pogo-stick campaigning in the hearts of many with no rest attached to a bullet train shouting ” I got you suckas!”. (run on sentence or nah?)

Seriously, I feel and have personally analyzed that the world we live in conditions us to not be authentic. Instead most people put on a mask and pretend to be someone else, while also covertly trying to get their needs met (a recipe for disaster and depression).

Were you raised with a certain religious background with which you disagree and are afraid of being disowned? Still have yet to come out the closet? Do you like watching japanese anime in your underwear?!

The pain of it all.

Yet, the fact of the matter is that you can procrastinate on doing your laundry, or even warming up your TV dinner, but you never procrastinate when it comes to being yourself.

Practical Tip-Try being open with a close friend about something you may have been hiding. Ask yourself, what am I afraid of losing? And think how has this caused me to pull away or hide parts of myself in relationships. Be honest!

Metaphysical Jibberish-Being yourself charges your soul allowing you to be set into resonance with what you truly desire-some call it Karma, The Law of Attraction/ Resonance or reaping what you sow. Being authentic sends a message to The Universe to reflect back to you your true desires, uncolored by others expectations and conditions-This is why Authenticity is the key to soul-mates. Eh, deep enough?

Okay, well I don’t want to type too much but seriously to those who are reading-please learn the value of being yourself and that it is a pre-requisite to manifesting your soul mate! Give people the chance to fall fully for who you are and experience true unconditional love…or slip on a banana. Enough said.

To get access to a free interactive E-Book click here.

To visit my website click here.

-London Holt

(Friendzoned!) How To Get Out Of The Dreaded Friendzone, And Stay Out!

The dreaded friend-zone is akin to quicksand.

The more you try to escape it’s grasp, the more you sink into a seemingly inescapable tug of emotion and desire.

In addition, friend-zones can feel draining as you may continue to give of yourself, unconditionally, yet it may feel like you are being taken for granted. Ouch!

The friend-zone can be defined as a friendship between two people characterized by one person having “secret feelings”, often suppressed, for the other person. The friend-zoned person tends to harbor a mixture of awe, fear of rejection, and vacillating resentment towards their object of affection for not being able to magically read their minds.

But, what if I told you there is hope my dear dreamer? What if I told you that there is not only a way to get out of this zone, but to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Yes, there is always bright sun light on the other side of rain clouds (hehe).

Allow us to venture into a new zone, the Action Zone! Here are the important questions you must ask yourself, with pure honesty, to transcend this zone and practical tips to get you enlightened. Please keep an open mind, and as a disclaimer, know that I will be brutally honest-so put on thick skin my fellow dreamers.

1. Do You Know What You Want?

This is perhaps the last thing you are thinking about right now! But hear me out. Being friendzoned can easily be the manifestation of you not knowing what you want, while also projecting a need onto someone whom you are infatuated with. What are your requirements? What are your needs? What are your wants? When you know what you want, then in the face of rejection it won’t feel as bad! You will simply return to the pond with your fishing rod and look for more fish in the sea. Easier said than done, but it can be done.

You may not know what you want, but you do know what you don’t want!

Before blogging about this subject, I did read some other articles and posts on escaping the friendzone; but a lot of the information was very superficial and a band-aid, so to speak, for the deeper issue. You must go back to the drawing board and re-think your strategy! Only insane people do the same thing over and over again and expect different results!

Practical Tip-Figure out what you want and decide if this person even fits the criteria. Don’t try to change them to fit your fantasy, this will only scare them away and dig you even deeper in the friendzone. Get comfortable with communicating your needs, as this will be important in a serious relationship anyway, so get a head start.

2. Are You Being Assertive?

Assertiveness is not a synonym for ass-hole. No one is asking you to be pushy as this can be seen by some as rude and even desperate. Again, after you have really put thought into what you want, now you need to communicate effectively your needs. Do you want to be in a relationship where physical contact is common? Try sending the message by taking action and engaging in physical contact. Or, perhaps you need to take action by setting a date, and communicating your emotions.

Worst case scenario, the person is not interested. But, you can take your list of needs and wants and move on to someone else. No sense in crying over spilled milk. In singles and dating coaching sessions, I usually have to help people not only identify what they want-but be brave enough to go for it! Here is another blog post on being a balanced dater that really seems to paint a good picture.

Remember, rejection is an illusion as we don’t really reject people but we reject our own perceptions and mis-conceptions of people, thus we are only rejecting an aspect of our own consciousness. So don’t take it so personally! In reality, they are only rejecting a facet of their own subjective world.  

Practical Tip-If you are too afraid to speak to the person, try a heartfelt email or letter. Try to give actual reasons why you like them and ask them if they want to go out on a date-not “hey, wanna get married and have my twenty-sumthin’ kids?”

3. Does The Object Of Your Affection Want To Date?

Confession. I have not only been friendzoned, but I have friendzoned people before as well. But why did I do it? Personally, it was not because I did not think the person was not attractive, it was not for lack of chemistry, and it was not even for distance. I friendzoned innocent souls because at that time in my life I did not want to be in a relationship! I was just coming out of a semi-serious relationship, and I was addicted to the freedom of the single life! (Why am I using so many exclamation marks? Eh, just roll with it.)

Thus, anyone who was attracted to me ain’t have nothing coming their way. In other words, you being in the friendzone may be because the person does not want a relationship! Plain and simple. Have a discussion about it and maybe give them some space.

Practical Tip-Own your single-hood. Be at peace in your singleness and don’t use someone else to fulfill yourself. Be complete alone, or you will never be complete at all-even in a relationship. I promise.

4. Why Is The Universe Reflecting This Back To You?

We can say God, Karma (Sanskrit for action), The Universe or Creation, and even for the skeptics, functional reality; essentially, what are you doing unconsciously to attract this into your life? Do you have a fear of rejection? Do you believe deep down that it is not possible to get your needs met? Relationships reflect your internal state of being for personal discovery.

It is possible to discover your self-limiting beliefs with help but it is a process for those who are brave enough to look deep into their soul. Sadly enough, many never uproot their deep beliefs around dating and continue to attract the same type of partner over and over again.

Just Google “How to overcome self-limiting beliefs” to be inundated with ways to combat these hidden traps in your own unconscious mind.

Practical Tip-Use your spiritual background and community. Pray about it, meditate, go within and listen to your intuition. Whatever you do, don’t force romance that isn’t truly there. You are worth so much more.

5. Are You Inserting People Into Your Fantasies?

Hollywood and Disney always give you this happy ending story where the guy or gal runs up to their love interest, and are just kissed ever so passionately. No questions. No arguments. No awkwardness. Essentially, a lot of people seem to fantasize about being with someone and feel that if they fantasize “hard” enough that the person will just feel the gravitational pull of their fantasy and fall head over heels/or sneakers for them.

And then reality smacks in harder than Bruce Lee’s dragon kick.

There is nothing wrong with a crush, or liking someone. But try to monitor you fantasies and decide if you will take action. When you are daydreaming, try asking yourself if the person would even want to be in this fantasy. By the way, that’s what dates are for, to find common ground in desire 🙂 Keeping track of your mind-wander lust will help you move on so then you won’t have to worry about being a “chronic friendzonee”

Practical Tip-The next time you are fantasizing, ask yourself what practical steps can you take to make the fantasy real? Write them down and take an action, but always take another persons feelings into consideration. Just because you insert someone into a fantasy does not mean they want what you want-be courteous!

Is It Really That Bad?

Alright, well I know some of this was surely tough love, but a nice push will get a fire in your belly and help you get out, and stay out of the friendzone. But, remember that the friendzone does not always need to be a bad thing. Try to communicate how you feel in a safe environment, with no expectations. Being friends can sometimes be a lot better because commitment is a big responsibility. I wish you well in your mission! Take action and practice unconditional love always!

Feel free to leave comments and more advice that has worked for you. Peace and Love!

To get access to a free interactive E-Book click here.

To visit my website click here, in the meantime have a great day.

-Coach London Holt!

 

5 Steps On How To Be A More Self-Confident Person (Especially in Dating)

Self-confidence is an infectious quality that automatically makes any person that much more attractive. Whether it is a job interview, an inquiry for a raise, or a date confidence will surely do everything but hurt you.

Yet, what are some practical steps to developing confidence?

Do you have to just be born with confidence, or can it be developed?

I believe it can be cultivated and here are some practical steps to developing confidence.

1. DON’T COMPARE, BUT APPRECIATE.

The way we interact with the world within us affects the way we interact with the world around us; that is, our emotions, our desires, our  fears and goals. In other words, how you feel about yourself is communicated to others consciously and unconsciously.

This is important to know because when you compare yourself to others it will develop this inner critic voice. A voice within that believes you are not good enough only to find “so called” truth in comparing yourself chronically to others.

In dating, the conversation within will become external.

The lack of self confidence will be picked up on. Some people may not even reject you, but they may steer clear of signs of insecurity.

Instead of comparing yourself to others try appreciating the skills of others. Ultimately, appreciate your own set of gifts and talents and focus on your “unique” qualities.

2. DON’T WEAR A MASK, BUT BE YOURSELF.

A lack of self-confidence, or the trust in ones own ability, can cause some to be a different person in public! Putting on a mask will only increase feelings of loneliness, and this fleeting feeling that no one “gets you”.

But in order for people to “get you” then you have to be you so they can love this person.

In dating, confidence is important but so is being who you truly are at your core.

3. DON’T BE SO UPTIGHT, BUT LEARN HOW TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF!

When I was younger, a bully (yes, I was bullied!) once told that me that if I don’t learn how to laugh at myself, then the entire world will laugh at me for me.

I believe Carl Jung once said that what you resist will persist.

Look at your insecurities in the eyes and laugh in their face. It will help you to be less critical when one of them floats to the surface.

4. DON’T BE A LONER, BUT FIND LIKE MINDED PEOPLE.

Be part of a group of some organization, again, where you can fully be yourself.

If you are part of a group of friends or even have family members who influence you to feel like you are worthless, then it is time for you to find another group of folks to hang out with. (Of course, if possible, if someone is being not so nice, then try to communicate your emotions by the way)

Write down five things you really like to do and find others who like to do those things, that simple. Try meetup.com!

5. DON’T LIVE IN THE PAST OR THE FUTURE, BUT THRIVE IN THE NOW.

Maybe you had some very embarrassing episodes as a child, or even had a horrible dating experience; the fact of the matter is that self-confidence is in the now.

Looking to the past will generate regret and looking to the future with no hope will generate fear. Living in this moment and being secure in who are is key.

Self-confidence is the fruit of positive focus, while also accepting the not so good things about yourself. Give it a try and see how your dating life shifts big time.

Well, that’s all folks. Go out there, be confident and fake it till you make it. 🙂

To get access to a free interactive E-Book click here.

To visit my website click here, in the meantime have a great day.

-Coach London Holt

A Dating Red Flag and Trap You Must Know To Prevent Heart Break! (Dating Trap One-Marketing Trap)

Okay, so what the heck is a dating trap and why does it sound like a death sentence?

Because it is!!!!!

Upon reading an amazing book by David Steele, Conscious Dating The Book, I had even more powerful insights to share with people.

In addition to David Steele’s information there is a whole host of other sites  and sources I am pulling from, including my own experiences in dating, so be ready for a powerful, metaphysical, nerdy, witty take on some stuff that really makes the difference between relationship success-or certain heart break.

I care for everyone and that is why I am doing this blog just so you know (awww, how cute London!) Yes I know, I am your information sugar daddy lol

WHAT IS THE MARKETING TRAP ALREADY?
Calm down my fellow info junky, let me answer one question first, and that  is; what is a dating trap? Well, Mr. Steele defines a dating trap as a preventable mistake that when made in Dating and Relationships will lead to inevitable conflict, and eventual frustration and separation.

In other words, you do this and you will end up in a long line for divorce or separation. Yet for my singles and those of you who aren’t married yet, you can avoid these traps and also a painful heart break. (And these traps apply to everyone, no matter your sexual orientation)

The marketing trap is simply putting on a show when you meet someone. That’s it.

Now, I can hear some people saying, “Oh, but everyone does that! Everyone puts on their best show while dating.” Yes, this is true, but to a certain extent.

You see, in the marketing trap people tend to put on a facade to woo you over, or you as the person setting the trap will say whatever you need to hit the jack pot. (Whatever that is for you personally)

Examples of The Marketing Trap Are as Follows:

1. Guy meets girl, they like each other, they go out on date but guy shows up in his dad’s Bentley. Guy even goes so far as to arrange a date at a very fancy restaurant. He pays a lot of money for a fancy meal, and does it all in cash! The issue? Home boy works at Pizza Hut. Yeah, those were his tips from the last nine months…

Outcome: After getting together, they argue about money, but he sells her the promise of more…she eventually leaves for a guy with more money.(I ain’t saying she a gold digger)

2. Girl meets guy, they like each other and they go to a beach. Girl acts very ditzy, and “easy” allowing the guy to dominate the conversation and even pretend like she doesn’t know the answer to simple questions. The issue? She was just accepted into Harvard Law School. I know, this is a good thing but again she is ” not being herself” Guy falls for the facade.

Outcome: They begin dating, but the guy is very aggressive and a chauvinistic (fill in bad word of choice here). The woman feels like her “voice” is not being heard and that her intelligence is not appreciated. He leaves her for a girl who plays a better part of an “air head” so he can feel like a “man”-whatever that means.

Alright, I had another but I am sure you get the point now, right?

The Marketing Trap is when someone inherently does not feel like they are good enough as they are, so they put up a perpetual facade only to feel unloved later in the relationship and mislead their victim.

This trap leads to another phenomenon for those who get very serious called the “Who the heck did I may marry effect”

It is very sad, but sometimes instead of falling in love with someone we can fall for the illusion, the facade instead of the truth. Some break their own hearts by ignoring this red flag/trap. 😦

So why is this important to know?

How can someone prevent this horrible trap?

Furthermore, are you the one being trapped, doing the trapping, or both?

(This is where you reflect and get a huge insight, okay?)

Enlightenment! 

The way you overcome this trap is simple, and you have already heard me say it over and over in my other posts-and I say it a lot while coaching people as many don’t do this!

Be yourself! Yes, from the first date be who you are.

Let your obnoxious laugh erupt.

Talk about your addiction to RPG games.

I am not saying scare the person away with eccentric individualism, but you will intuitively know when you are not being you. It will be a gut feeliing-sort of like that annoying voice from  a GPS that lets you know you need to redirect and align with the true you!

That way if someone falls for you, then it will be with the real you-not some mask you purchased from a dollar store last minute before Halloween (Wait, am I the only person who does that?)

The bottom line is simple,

In order for The Universe to send you what you want, you must be willing to say no to what you don’t want so as to receive that which you truly deserve. 

Boom! Another Explosive Insight (A.E.I) haha

I have been a trapper many times in my life and I know that women do not like when guys put up a facade. In fact, when I think of the women who broke up with me, and who I broke up with it usually connected to this trap in some way shape or form. Just be you, because no one else can that for you.

But, it doesn’t end here!!! (Duh, duh, duhhh!)

Did you know that there are altogether 14 Dating Traps! Again, they all are listed in David Steele’s book. I will blog about the other traps as well in beautiful detail.

But, have no fear for now just apply and master this first one.

Leave a comment about when this trap has played a part in heart break for you, let your experiences be a lesson for someone else!

NOV 11 LIVE EVENT IN LAKEWOOD, OHIO! INFO HERE  https://www.facebook.com/events/1991129507837628/

To get access to a free interactive E-Book click here to avoid life crushing loneliness, click here (lol)

To visit my website click here, in the meantime have a great day.

Alright, that is all for now-Peace.

How Your “Personal” Culture Affects Your Dating Life & What is Your Love Identity?

Did you know your personal culture actually affects your dating life, and later, your long-term relationships?

A man by the name of Edward B. Tylor defined culture as the full range of learned human behavior patterns.

In other words, culture is learned and not a biological phenomenon, as Tylor also believed there was no difference between a King and the servant, but only that the King may have been educated more; thus, the King is able to yield more of that which was always within him.

But again, how does this connect to your dating life?

Well, I believe that there is a collective culture, yet also an individual culture which consists of experiences, values, desires and a perceived identity.

Who you believe yourself to be will inevitably affect your dating life.

For example, if someone were to only identify themselves as a “poor person” then they may tend to date those in a similar socioeconomic status.

Yet, someone who’s identity is much more inclusive, expansive and even egalitarian may just label themselves as a human, and others as human. Thus, this latter identity will yield a greater dating pool, or number of possible partners from which to choose.

Your culture is what you cultivate. To cultivate means you focus on it to a certain degree consciously or unconsciously, and if you are not focusing enough on it than others from a similar culture will try to get you to focus on it.

Your culture is like a seed, a plant that you water with your thoughts and emotions, giving rise to fruits of symbols and behaviors.

Your culture can also be the collection of conversations you are having with yourself on a daily basis.

How do you view yourself? Who do you say you are? What things are very important to you?

Some people may actually have a personal culture of hate, that is, they focus on what it is they don’t like about themselves and this will generate insecurities, watering the seeds and bearing fruits of malice. Even while doing Relationship Coaching I find that I usually have to help clients overcome their own personal insecurities to make the dating process easier, after all the worst enemy is truly the person in the mirror!

Developing a Culture of Unconditional Love is very important and the way one does this is by accepting all of your desires and values as is. If you are always comparing yourself to other people, then this will surely create an array of insecurities.

When it comes to dating, having an idea of who you are and what you want are very important and I analyze even underestimated. Finding a partner with a similar “culture” is very important, and accepting yourself and others for who they are is very key as well.

However, very quickly I wanted to make a statement that may surprise you and perhaps even offend some, but this must be said.

Culture and race are not the same thing.

These two words shouldn’t be used interchangeably.

You see, race is a philosophy that is passed as being science (it still has yet to be proven in a lab) whereas culture is real, and is a function of what people focus on and value, and then pass on to the next generation (also known as socialization).

If anything, the illusion of race has become a focus in American Culture, thus in this case race is a cultural focus that many still have trouble letting go of, for an unconscious fear of loosing an elusive sense of identity.

Race is an illusion(click link to see for yourself), and biological determinism, I believe, will begin to erode in these next generations as even the number of multicultural dating and romantic relationships has and will continue to increase drastically. That is because again two people may come from different ethnic backgrounds, yet have a similar “personal” culture of focus on similar values.

The power of love is beyond all illusions of humanity.

So, again, to answer the question-culture affects your dating life because it affects who you would want to date and who you will ultimately decide who is a fit mate. And this is only the beginning!

Thank you all, and please leave comments-but please, no bloody debates on my page-if you have a quarrel with someone in this matter then please inbox one another, or keep the comments to a mutually respectful tone.

To get access to a free interactive E-Book click here.

To visit my website click here. 

Peace and Unconditional Love be with everyone,

-London Holt

Yin and Yang Dating, How Your Affinity Affects Your Dating Life

The Yin and Yang symbol is very popular, yet do you know the true meaning of this symbol? 

The Yin-Yang symbol comes from Chinese Philosophy and is a symbol of balance, with both pieces being unique yet connected and complimentary.

But how does this symbol connect to your dating life?

You see, everything has a yin and yang aspect to it. (as pictured above)

For instance, even inhaling is considered yin and exhaling yang!

However, when it comes to dating you want to make sure you are using both of these energies to manifest a balanced relationship.

So are you a yin, yang, or balanced dater?

DISCLAIMER: I wanted to note that yin and yang is dualistic in nature, yet when it comes to the nature of the yin and yang it can also be considered a spectrum, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. You may in fact show qualities of both to a certain degree so keep this in mind as you read this post!

Yin Dater-A Yin dater is very shy and prefers for others to make the first move. A yin dater also spends much time fantasizing about potential romance so much so that they may even fall for an internal fantasy, instead of the actual person!

If you are a yin dater then you have a skill for working on your own baggage, and going through deep levels of reflection after a date to get a better picture of what you want in a relationship.

However, a yin dater must take more action! Don’t always wait for the other person to make the first move, this is also because if you are a yin dater than you may be a tad bit more emotional. Thus, in relationships you would also need to work on expressing your emotions and not bottling them up; only to have your emotions explode or turn into festering resentment.

Yin is a powerful energy for healing, yet yang is just as important so lets see if you are a yang dater.

Yang Dater-Having an abundance of yang energy while dating can make for a very exciting romantic life! If you are a yang dater then you are the person who makes the first move, chooses the dates and even parks the car 😉

In other words, yang energy is all about action, which balances out the yin energy. However, there is a weakness in having too much yang energy; that is, sometimes yang daters can be very cocky, overbearing and risk using dating and relationships as a way to escape their inner turmoil.

Too much yang energy can cause you to search for dating and love as a form of escapism!

Yang is a wonderful energy to cultivate, but too much can hurt you, unfortunately. Yang daters can benefit from meditation, deep reflection and also keeping a journal to get those emotions down on paper.

Yet, is there a way to get the best of both worlds? Of course there is!

Balanced Dater-Yin and yang are not energies in competition with one another, but two forces meant to work harmoniously together. You may, like most, have several qualities that are yin and yang in nature yet being a balanced dater is idea.

A balance dater knows when to take action, but also when to look within and question your motives in pursuing someone.

A balanced dater will take the time to work on personal baggage and self love and work from this “complete” space to manifest a loving relationship.

A balanced dater is a conscious dater who takes into consideration the subsequent effect of their actions on others, and also themselves (mindfulness).

Cultivating the yin and yang balance however is much easier than most would tell you and it is even something I teach in my Relationship Coaching practice; as well as conscious dating.

So which type of dater are you currently? Which energy do you need more of to balance yourself, yin or yang? Think about it.

In the meantime, have a wonderful day!

To get access to a free interactive E-Book click here.

To visit my website click here.

-Conscious Creation Singles and Relationship Coach London Holt

Why Do Some Relationships Fall Apart? One Simple Answer…

Why do relationships fall apart?

Why do some stay together and others drift away, like a boat at sea with no anchor?

There are many different reasons why relationships don’t work out; perhaps poor communication, long distance, infidelity, or even jealousy.

However, I have identified one of the main reason most relationships actually end.

One word.

Desire!

I know, the word may paint pictures of romance or some fragrance by the name, but that’s not what I mean, of course.

You see, there are actually different types of desires, or a strong wanting for something.

There are physical desires, there are mental desires and even emotional and spiritual desires. For example, let’s say your significant other communicates that they want to spend more time with you-then this would be a physical desire.

How you respond to this desire is very important, because if you should fail to meet this desire then it can spark an argument or some level of festering resentment.

“You never spend anytime with me anymore, I don’t even know why I am in this relationship!”

“I do spend time with you, in fact we spend TOO much time together I just need space!”….

Okay, so look at what’s going on here. One person is showing a desire for closeness and the other a desire for distance-two different desires in one room! Oh my, is this a recipe for disaster or what?

What is the solution?

Create a safe place and connect to your partner, thus giving you a place to comfortably communicate your deeper feelings and desires. This is even important for those dating as well, you must know your desires BEFORE going into a relationship to see if they are compatible and/or complimentary to another person’s desires.

Connect, communicate and then show appreciation for your partner opening up so that they will be more likely to open up to you and not some random person at a coffee shop 🙂

So why do I compare relationships to boats and wind? Am I trying too hard to be poetic? Maybe, but here goes a more vivid picture.

Your relationship with someone is a like a boat that you want to keep afloat and safe from anything that may sink it. That which you desire is like the wind, and when you both desire similar things and appreciate each others desires the boat is in sync with nature.

Yet, when your partner does not feel like a desire is being met, then a storm awakens and it will shake the boat until the desire is met! If the person is not satisfied, then they will leave, go elsewhere to have the desire fulfilled (cheat) or they will just become very numb and remain miserable. I know, that’s pretty sad.

So do you get it now? Desires are very important and may not seem like a necessity but are in fact one of the core fundamentals to the happiness factor in a relationship.

Mental desires may be learning a new language, emotional desires may be a longing for safe vulnerability and a spiritual desire may be a longing to go to church or a temple. Listen to your partners desires and see if you guys can come to a common agreement, that is, compromise.

If not, then your boat hits a massive ice-berg and things fall apart 🙂

Be on the lookout for more blog posts!

Peace and Love be with you all.

To get access to a free interactive E-Book click here.

To visit my website click here, in the meantime have a great day.

-Coach London

What is Unconditional Love and Why is it Important?

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I believe this is true as we all have different qualities and qualifications we may hold close and dear to our hearts while searching for “the one”.

And even for those of you in relationships already, I am sure there were certain traits that attracted you to the person.

Perhaps it was simply the way they dress, or the way the person laughs, or maybe a deeper quality such as them being a good listener.

Yet, the paradox in relationships is that sometimes the qualities that attracted you to your partner may become the very things that tear you both apart! Yeah, I made the same face when I realized this interesting fact.

Perhaps it was cute when they wanted a reply to every text, you felt so “needed” but now you feel like you are being smothered or interrogated. Perhaps you loved their laugh but now you feel embarrassed in public when they seem to screech. Perhaps time together was magical, but now you live together and you just want space.

What is the key to this inevitable contrast and power struggle? Of course good communication but another overlooked concept.

Two words.

Unconditional Love.

Unconditional love is not looking at your partner with rosy eyes and ignoring all of their shortcoming, but is a state of consciousness where you see the good, the bad and the ugly and you accept all as is.

You don’t seek to change your partner but you love without conditions.

I have noticed that usually when someone asks for relationship advice, that unconditional love will without a doubt come to the forefront of the conversation.

Why is unconditional love so important?

Because how we interact with others affects how they interact with themselves. If you are bashing your partner for their weaknesses, then this will cause emotional distancing in the relationship. You bashing them will cause them to bash themselves when you aren’t around. 😦

In fact, if someone else comes along who is more accepting than this will create temptation for your partner.

After all, who would you stay with, the person who is forcing you to change, or the person who accepts you for who you are? I am not condoning cheating or infidelity by the way, just shedding light. Furthermore, honesty and criticism is wonderful, but make sure it is constructive, not destructive.

Of course what I am saying will vary from situation to situation, but another important point is that unconditional love must be given to the self as well.

Love thy neighbor as thy self means express unconditional love to yourself and others.

So the next time someone’s weaknesses creep up, don’t be so tempted to instantly move on or call off the date, but use the angst as an opportunity to practice unconditional love and grow as a person.

I know, easier said than done but it can be with practice.

To get access to a free interactive E-Book click here.

To visit my website click here.

Thank you for time, please leave comment and share if you resonate with this material! Peace and Pure Love be with you all 😉